I wish I was Irish.

So what have I been thinking about lately?  My lack of control to simply let go. 

I am so uptight about knowing exactly what I'm doing at every moment, especially what I'll be doing tomorrow, or next week, ooooorrrr next semester.  I cannot stop thinking about this summer once I am a college graduate.  Luckily I have two jobs already lined up.  But these jobs have an end.  When the summer is over, so are these jobs.  What will I be doing after?  NO CLUE!  This is the very first time in my entire life where I have absolutely no flippin idea.  This is terribly frightening.

One thing I do know is that I will be with Gary.  No matter what happens, he will be right by my side.  Going through this experience has shown me I am no good at long distance and I will never ever ever ever ever do it again.  That being said, what if I get offered a job or find a job outside of Decorah sooner than we expected?  I'd be crazy not to take it right? The current state of the economy doesn't really allow me that flexibility anymore.

I am trying my very hardest to let it all go.  I know deep down that everything will be fine.

On a happier note, here is a list of 10 things I want to accomplish when I am here in Chicago:

1. Go to an Irish bar
2. Run in a 5k
3. See a Cubbies game
4. Consider grad schools in Chicago
5. Go to a bar or restaurant alone or with a new friend
6. Run outside!  (I have this subconscious fear of it…)
7. Go to the Lincoln Park Zoo
8. Enjoy a festival of some sort
9. Bring friends to *Second City* because it’s just that amazing
10. Discover a park and spend an afternoon there

1 comment:

Amanda said...

good plans! i hope things work out for you to stay in Decorah if thats where Gary will be. It will be easier for wedding planning too!